Center for Hope and Healing

WHat Parents need to know

Trauma is an overwhelming experience for children and their parents/caregivers. Here are five ways to begin helping your child.

1. Understand - Trauma is like no other experience. Traumatized children may not have control over their emotions and behavior because the terror they experienced has left them feeling out of control.

2. Be Patient - Trauma destroys a child's sense of safety and security. Children will need time to feel safe again. Be patient with this regression.

3. Be Nurturing - Spend more time with your child interacting in meaningful ways. Play games, read books or go for a walk together.

4. Keep It Simple - A traumatized child will find it difficult to concentrate and remember even the simplest of things. Keep things simple by saying only one or two things at a time. Visual charts of the daily schedule or tasks to be completed are helpful.

5. Normalize - Reinforce your understanding of the reactions your child is experiencing are normal following this experience.

Children need to know that it is normal to experience reactions like fear or worry after exposure to trauma or an overwhelming life event. This knowledge reduces their concern that something might be "wrong" with them. It also provides them reassurance that they are not alone in how they are feeling.

Some common symptoms and reactions following trauma include: nightmares, afraid to be alone, wishing something bad would happen to the person that caused the trauma, stomachaches and headaches, feeling jumpy or nervous, and seeing pictures of what happened over and over again. These are all normal reactions that can be expected to diminish with support, time, and healing.

Common Misconceptions about Trauma and Therapy

• Myth: Therapy is a quick fix.

  Fact: Unfortunately, there is no such thing as a "quick fix." There are many factors that determine the duration of treatment.

• Myth: Therapy could be harmful to the child or teenager.

  Fact: Trauma-informed treatment is client centered: it goes at the pace of the client, and goes where the client is able to go.

• Myth: Therapy can determine what and if something happened to the child.

  Fact: Our role is to help a child process what has happened so they understand the abuse was not their fault.

• Myth: Therapy requires the child to discuss repeatedly what happened.

  Fact: Our main concern is personal safety. It's important that we stabilize by teaching coping skills, deciphering triggers, and addressing presenting symptoms. If clients chose to specifically process what happened, we want them to have the tools and experience to feel that they will be successful and safe.

• Myth: Not talking about trauma helps the children forget about what happened.

  Fact: Avoiding discussion of the trauma gives the message that it is too terrible to talk about. Traumatic memories are stored in the body and often get re-experienced through sensory reminders (triggers), making it nearly impossible for a child to forget what happened.

• Myth: Therapy for children and adults look the same.

  Fact: Therapy is client-centered; traditional "talk therapy" is not always effective in treating trauma because the memories are fragmented and there is often no linguistic component attached to the fragmented memory. There are several different modalities to utilize depending on the need and age of the client.

• Myth: If our child is in therapy, we won't be able to get back to normal.

  Fact: Therapists are able to provide psycho-education and support to caregivers to re-establish routines and consistency in the home, in addition to teaching caregivers modified and appropriate ways to respond to presenting symptoms.